Musings of My Life In General

I never get the feel of satisfaction in anything else the way I do when I've written something, no matter what it is.

I wrote that a day after my birthday in 1996.

It is still true today.

I began writing in high school. I'm not going to say how long that was, but it was a long time ago. I wanted to become a published writer--meaning having my books published and available on the book shelves of bookstores, way back then.

Things just got in the way. I had to work. At one point I was married to a man who didn't share my dream. Thank goodness that relationship is in the dust, and my current husband of 24 years has always shared my dreams, and helps me out in every way he can to get me back into my office, writing.

I've had many a false hopes, tireless dreams--which are always the same . . . just different characters playing the same worn parts, while I'm always the central character.

I at one point thought that it looked so dismal about my having a book out there that it might happen after my death.

Over my dead body!

The struggling continued through my 30's and 40's. When I hit 50, I had to come to a decision. Either I'd get published the traditional way, or if I can't I'd go with self-publishing.

My husband and I were coming back from one of our many vacations out west, and stopped at a rest aria in Iowa. It was a very pleasant, clean one. We stepped out onto the back deck, where there were lovely planters bursting with wonderfully scented petunias, we sat on a bench and took our picture there for remembrance. This was the day we decided that I would get a book published, if it meant I would have to self-publish, the so be it.

I went on-line and checked out different ones. There were some that were "free", but those freebies had hidden costs, and so I went with Infinity, because of the lower price--there are some that add on until you're into the thousands. Infinity had one basic price for anyone.

It took me maybe a year or so to get the manuscript ready (as I possibly could), and then contacted the publisher. They were very easy to work with, easy to format via their instruction booklet, and always there to help.

When the book was ready I got my first copy. I was very excited. I had drawn my own cover, so the book was totally mine from front to back.

This was three years ago. the book is still out there, and I'm still writing. I've now got an editor interested in working with me for my vampire novel.

Life is a strange thing. As long as I have wanted to get to this point in my life, struggled, and watched others come out with a book that they just wrote because they heard "voices" inside their heads and had to get it down (I've been hearing voices in my head for decades, a lot of good that has done me!), and suddenly they have an agent, a book deal and then a movie deal. How does this happen? Why couldn't if have happened to me? I could use a few thousand extra bucks just to buy things we need.

So, I've mellowed out slightly from feeling dejected--no agent will take my work, because obviously there's something I'm doing that puts them off. All I've ever wanted was one person--JUST ONE--to look and see something in my writing that they like and think this might work.

A break. Just one tiny break for me, who have gone decades dreaming an impossible dream.

It looks as though I'm on the threshold of this impossible dream coming true.

I will post, here and my sister blogs, on the developments as things evolve.