Somehting to think about . . .

Hunger and the fear of failure . . . when you hit the wall, the only way left is up.

~Lorelei Bell

Monday, December 27, 2010

Lorelei's Muse: The Interview

Lorelei's Muse: The Interview: "Once you have a book published, and you need to get the word out locally, your local papers are the best resource you have to getting the w..."

Friday, December 17, 2010

Lorelei's Muse: The Big Event

Lorelei's Muse: The Big Event: "For each and every writer/published author hopeful, the Big Event is, of course, the book signing. I've had three official book signings. ..."

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Vampire Ascending Launch Party: BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!

Vampire Ascending Launch Party: BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!: "I've just gotten notification from my publisher that the book is available through Copperhill Media All information on the book as well as ..."

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Deadline--a First



Publisher's editor sent me an e-mail that I was to begin edits as soon as I got them. They gave me until the 19th--next Friday!
For the first time in my life I'm about to work on edits of my book.

And people have been coming over to the book's facebook page to hit the LIKE button. I've been stalking people on facebook, and through e-mails, to get them over and hit the button. They do so gladly, but I do have to remind them.

And the editor, Yolanda, gave me a nice complement saying I did a really good job on this and can't wait for the next one!

I hope to deliver the second book sometime in late winter. I hope to have time to work on edits on that one. I've been swapping chapters with another writer, lately, I hope that it goes well. But I'm only on chapter 10. This may take a while.

Last night I had to take a sleeping pill--my doctor gave them to me when I complained of not being able to sleep. I don't take them every night. Only when I've too much going on and I know I can't stop thinking.
That's my update for now.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

New Vampire Book's Release


I've been waiting for a month to learn when my book would be out, and really nervously awaiting to see what the front cover would be.

The other day I got email from the publisher, and he gave me the link, and I clicked on it. Here it is. Now, tell me if you saw this in a bookstore you wouldn't pick it up at least and see what was held inside?

I know I would. I sat there and just stared at it. I quickly grabbed the picture so that I could post it far and wide and set it to my desk top.

December is the target date for release, but it might be sooner. They want to be in time for Christmas business ;-)

As soon as they have a proof, they will begin promotion through press releases, and have Vampire Ascending reviewed by a professional service, who will in turn publish their review on a number of websites, including Amazon.com.

I had hoped sooner, but really, December is an excellent time to have a book signing. I had a number of people show up at my very first book signing in DeKalb, and sold 17 books that night--this is very good. But I had a lot of very nice friends actually show up for this.

The vampire book, I think, will out-sell my light fantasy. I know that every time I mentioned I was writing a vampire novel, eyes lit up. "Really?" came from their mouths. Some, now that the book is coming out, are wanting to know when it's available. I had several people at my facebook tell me the cover was cool, and I know many of them want a copy, and I hope to get 2 book signings. One at Borders, but another one somewhere else. Probably not Barns & Nobel across the street, but I hope at someplace else that is not a bookstore, just to give people another chance to buy. I'll have to order a dozen books for that.

I've decided that this book will have to be promoted better than my first one. My first one couldn't generate enough interest for people to buy. The vampire one should, and has already gotten people all over, wherever I'm embedded, excited about buying a copy.

And I'm sure excited about it too. After trying to find a publisher who would take it, having one place asking for money to "edit"--scam!--and an editor at Crescent Moon who would not tell me--for 3 months--whether she actually wanted to see the rest of the book--only wanted to know if I'd work hard, take direction, etc., I wound up with a POD. But this is the first one I didn't have to pay any fees to. (All of them ask for money, and some are scams). Copperhill's moto is "all for one and one for all", they don't make money, unless you do. I'd always thought that's exactly what a POD should be. They should take a vested interest in your work, not merely because you're paying them to get the book to print, but after, when you need them to help you promote it. All other POD's just give you the reins after and don't care if you sell anything or not. They've gotten their money. Why do they care?

I'll wait and see how good a job Copper Hill does with the promotions, but at FrogenYozert.com they claim to get 20,000 visitors a month. I couldn't hope to get that in one year. And I've been encouraged to post there to get people coming to my page and see what I've written.

Lastly, Mr. Voss told me he was impressed by the good writing style in my book--the parts he did read. He said he felt "confident that we can create some good sales".

I do too. Vampire fiction is still hot.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Fear of Failure



I once read an excellent book by James N. Frey called The Mother of all Attitudes. I highly recommend it to all of you out there who are unpublished writers. The most important paragraph in the whole book was about developing an attitude. Frey says you must become "by God possessed,maniacally determined to make it as a writer", that it was when the writer became "afraid they would fail" the fear lead them to develop an attitude.

The approach to publication is exactly that. Your fear of failure. And there's also the fear of achievement as well. I sometimes wonder if I might have a bit of this as well. "What if I do publish this book? Then what?" A slue of things come to mind. Things I would have to do to promote it. You get a book out there, it's not going to magically have some beacon on it to lure readers to it.

I've got my first self-published book, Spell of the Black Unicorn in several so-called publisher's sites, none of which have helped the sales. Author's Den proved to be a hoax, as far as I'm concerned. And a few others didn't help at all. It might be that people aren't aware of it, or that the cover makes them wonder what is this? A children's book? I'm not sure what the problem is. It's an adult light fantasy about a sorceress, Zofia, who is originally from another planet, stuck on Earth trying to hide out from a deranged sorcerer, Vesselvod Blood, who wants the Stone of Irdisi. With the stone he will gain back his powers. Zofia is the keeper of this stone and can't let him have it.

The elements of the book sound typical of most fantasies, but the difference is it's quite zany. I took elements from one of my all-time favorite TV shows, Bewitched and created something that is entertaining, has plenty of witchcraft in it, as well as a bit of sci-fi, and I've a mystery to unravel. And, of course, there is the romance angle of her husband returning to her--not as a sorcerer, but a vampire. This gave me lots of opportunity for the danger, as well as humor to add to this book.

So, the fear factor, what if I fail, is still with me. I've failed with the first book, barely made back the amount I spent of self-publishing, but I guess I didn't know how to promote it.

Maybe I'll do better with this next one, Vampire Ascending, which will also be an eBook.

I recommend Frey's book "The Mother of All Attitudes", for those of you out there struggling, feeling depressed, or wondering if you have a chance at success. You need the attitude that you will, by God, be published. If you don't know my story, keep on hunting around. You'll find in on any of my blogs here at blogspot.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Vampire Ascending To Be Published

I began writing when I was 17. I wrote constantly. Many of my stories were fantasy, some romance. But I wrote my first vampire novel in 1982-83. That book never saw light. I don't know how many rejections I suffered before I decided to just hang it up.

I tried to rewrite it in the 1990's, and the same thing happened. One agent nearly took it, but somehow I just wasn't good enough for her.

Then came POD. Self-publishing is a wonderful thing for those of us who, for some reason or another, just can't get past the gate keepers. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of that. You've done everything you can think of, and still an agent won't pick you up. Or, an agent picks you up, and the book just isn't appealing enough for the publishers.

I've been through the rejections for 30 or more years. I just don't have time for them any more.

The funny fact is, even those authors who have published with a traditional publisher, they are not likely to make money until their fifth book. I know that I'd read that Kim Harrison couldn't quit her part-time job until her third book sold. There are a few acceptions, of course, and we all know who they are.

And it's not safe out there, folks. Vanity publishers abound, trying to peddle themselves off as a traditional publisher, when all they are are vanities, hoping to rope you into hundreds of dollars leaving your pocket, to fill up theirs. Always check the warning sites for writers on publishers before you go with any of them. and then when you do, read the contract very carefully. If there is no contract, you'd be better off to move on. If they want more than a few hundred dollars, move on.

If you loose your rights. Move on. If you have to buy your own ISBN code, this will cost you, and unless you want to go through all of this, move on. Also, make sure to either send the mss. off to the copyrights office, or do the poorman's copyright, and at least send a copy to yourself. Then you have proof you wrote the thing. Copyright costs only $35, last I checked.

Most POD's do charge up-front fees. There are some that do add-ons, too--those nasy hidden costs that they don't tell you up front. I happen to know that Xlibris is like this. They're still calling me after 3 years of my not choosing them after seeing what they "offer". I'm sorry, I don't think I want to sink $1,000 into a self-published book.

Get a clue, Xlibris. Already got the book published and don't want your services. EVER!

I went with a POD on my first book Spell of the Black Unicorn because the fee was not very much and it was the same, no matter how long my book was. At $400, it was an investment, but I just barely got it all back from sales. Infinity offered editing at a price, so I didn't use it,and probably should have, but that's water under the bridge. They allowed 40 corrections at no extra cost, but anything over that I'd have to pay $50--although they allowed one more correction, just because they liked me, or something.

I'm about to publish Vampire Ascending, a novel I've worked on for 3 years, maybe longer, and I'm going with a publisher I don't know well, but have found nothing in the contract that frightened me, and I'm not paying them anything for this service. Which is scary, because I don't know what I'm going to wind up with. Will it turn out at least half-way decent? I don't know. They offer editing, for free, but may not do so down the road. I'm doing the cover, since it sounds like their service will cost me something, and in the contract it said I didn't need to use it. So, that was good.

I'm finding it difficult to get excited at this point, because I really don't know how good this will turn out. I mean, if they want to make a profit, I'd think that they would do their damnedest to get it right, not screw anything up too badly. Because we both stand to make money on this joint-venture, and they are doing this for free. Which, to me, is what I think a POD should do. I mean, if they want to make profit from you, they should just make sure that they offer everything they can to put you out there, give you a great-looking book and offer you a website by which to promote it. Which is what this POD company is offering to authors.

In the coming weeks, I'll post my progress either here, or most likely at my main blog Lorelei's Muse, which you can pick up right here at this blog.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Pulling In Your Readers

I've attended writing courses throughout my writing "career", and the basic knowledge of any novel is you have to grab the reader in the first 3-5 seconds. About the first sentence, or the very first short paragraph. If you can grab that reader in the first sentence, they'll obviously read on.

Read the first sentence of any book you've read and see if I'm right. Does it grab you? Pull you in? Makes you want to see what is going on there?

Here's a couple from my own books to consider. Does that first sentence pull you in?

From Spell of the Black Unicorn:
Chill bumps shrouded Zofia Trickenbod. She wanted to Transvect the hell out of here. But where to?

From Vampire Ascending
The full moon poured silvery light down around me as I arrived about eight minutes late for my job interview with a vampire.

From Vampire's Trill:
I woke up naked.

I think these work to pull the reader in. Read your favorite authors to see how they have done the job.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Tale of One Writer's Tragedy

If you read this blog you know that I enter my thoughts, or journal entries from many years ago.

I came across this one this morning. Not the one I was looking for, but someday I may come across that one.

We, as writers try to keep positive, even after several attempts at selling something to a magazine, or to a publisher/agent. After a while you think your writing absolutely sucks, that no one out there things you can even write a simple grocery list of interest. We've all been there. Even those who are now deemed kings or queens of their genre. Stephen King nearly threw away his first novel "Carey". His wife yanked it out of the trash and told him to not give up.

Writers are a different breed. What we put on the page is subjective to whom ever reads it. Publishers will not take anything without you having an agent. Agents are the gate keepers--and I don't really give a flying fig about how they have to treat every manuscript they get in the same. The person rejected feels very low when they get one. Especially when they keep getting them, and have no idea what to do about it.

As the rejections mount, your confidence begins to suffer, to the point of having no confidence in anything you do--and I mean life in general. I've been to the point of tears, screaming at God for giving me this stupid need to write every story, or idea for a book, down on paper. Why have I been given this, and for all of my adult life have never attained barely more than $30 checks for anything? I can't make a living on the one thing that makes me happy. Agents reject me. I don't even try any more.

You still with me?

Ever been so low that you'd consider just ending the misery? I don't' know if Stephen King did. I should read his book, but I simply can't afford to run out and get a copy.

I'd read about such a writer who did take his own life. His name was John Kennedy Toole. He took his life back in 1969. This was mentioned in one of the writing magazines I used to get back in 2005.

The story goes that after years of trying to find a publisher for his novel
A Confederacy of Dunces, he committed suicide.

Now, here is the ironic part. His mother, who believed in him so much, continued trying to get her son's novel into print. And in 1980, Mrs. Toole succeeded. Not only that, the book went on to win a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.

So, if Toole had only continued to hang on for 11 more years, he would have been able to reap his rewards.

Why did John Toole take his life? I can understand how painful it must have been for him. But, why couldn't he have just kept on plugging away like the rest of us?

I wish he had. I'm sure his mother wished he had.

Whenever I feel so blue about not having success like Stephanie Meyer, or even those writers who aren't even half as famous, whose books are lining bookstore shelves, yet are making some sort of living writing, I remind myself that just beyond the horizon it might just happen for me. I remember John Toole.

It could have happened for Toole. He wasn't here to experience it. And that's really too bad.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Monday Musings

I can't say how many years I've subscribed to any writing magazine. But the one which I've continuously subscribed to has been Writer's Digest. In this current issue--the July/August--is a profile of Charlaine Harris. A must read, if you, like me, is a fan. Whether you read her books, or watch the show which was spun off her Sookie Stackhouse books, or both, it's an interesting read on how many years Harris has been writing, how she got into it, and so forth.

I think she writes like me, taking from what I read about how she writes. She says she has no idea what she's going to do for the first chapter. For me, I usually have a first chapter, and just go with it. I can't outline. I don't dare. Because my characters won't allow it. I just give them the lead, and they go off. Usually in the middle of the night.

Just as it happened last night, in the middle of the night--the usual time around 2am. I was having difficulty in how to get some grist into the middle of my novel.

Well, Writer's Digest had just the solution in their Workbook section. It's as if they read my mind, or are on some nebulous plane where I am, and say, "here, this might help!" This has been happening to me for the past 3 or 4 years. And I must say, the magazine arrives just in the nick. I hadn't even been expecting it, and there it was, on the dining room table, after my husband had picked it up from the mail box.

So, naturally, with two more days off to write, I'm getting the rest of the second vampire novel (Vampire's Trill) down. Meanwhile, I'm still awaiting word from editor at Crescent Moon Press. She's behind, had just come back from a conference, so, this is okay. It looks like it's a green light, I just wish she would find the accelerator.

But, this is okay, once she sits down to edit my first novel Vampire Ascending, I'll be faced with rewriting/editing that. So, I'm making the most of my time, working on the next book. Sort of excited about the turn of events I came up with, and I'm going to work in a new interesting character a little bit more into this second novel. I'm about 3/4's way through. I know it will need more re-writes, editing and so forth, but my aim is to get this done by end of summer.

So, on that note . . .

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Musings of My Life In General

I never get the feel of satisfaction in anything else the way I do when I've written something, no matter what it is.

I wrote that a day after my birthday in 1996.

It is still true today.

I began writing in high school. I'm not going to say how long that was, but it was a long time ago. I wanted to become a published writer--meaning having my books published and available on the book shelves of bookstores, way back then.

Things just got in the way. I had to work. At one point I was married to a man who didn't share my dream. Thank goodness that relationship is in the dust, and my current husband of 24 years has always shared my dreams, and helps me out in every way he can to get me back into my office, writing.

I've had many a false hopes, tireless dreams--which are always the same . . . just different characters playing the same worn parts, while I'm always the central character.

I at one point thought that it looked so dismal about my having a book out there that it might happen after my death.

Over my dead body!

The struggling continued through my 30's and 40's. When I hit 50, I had to come to a decision. Either I'd get published the traditional way, or if I can't I'd go with self-publishing.

My husband and I were coming back from one of our many vacations out west, and stopped at a rest aria in Iowa. It was a very pleasant, clean one. We stepped out onto the back deck, where there were lovely planters bursting with wonderfully scented petunias, we sat on a bench and took our picture there for remembrance. This was the day we decided that I would get a book published, if it meant I would have to self-publish, the so be it.

I went on-line and checked out different ones. There were some that were "free", but those freebies had hidden costs, and so I went with Infinity, because of the lower price--there are some that add on until you're into the thousands. Infinity had one basic price for anyone.

It took me maybe a year or so to get the manuscript ready (as I possibly could), and then contacted the publisher. They were very easy to work with, easy to format via their instruction booklet, and always there to help.

When the book was ready I got my first copy. I was very excited. I had drawn my own cover, so the book was totally mine from front to back.

This was three years ago. the book is still out there, and I'm still writing. I've now got an editor interested in working with me for my vampire novel.

Life is a strange thing. As long as I have wanted to get to this point in my life, struggled, and watched others come out with a book that they just wrote because they heard "voices" inside their heads and had to get it down (I've been hearing voices in my head for decades, a lot of good that has done me!), and suddenly they have an agent, a book deal and then a movie deal. How does this happen? Why couldn't if have happened to me? I could use a few thousand extra bucks just to buy things we need.

So, I've mellowed out slightly from feeling dejected--no agent will take my work, because obviously there's something I'm doing that puts them off. All I've ever wanted was one person--JUST ONE--to look and see something in my writing that they like and think this might work.

A break. Just one tiny break for me, who have gone decades dreaming an impossible dream.

It looks as though I'm on the threshold of this impossible dream coming true.

I will post, here and my sister blogs, on the developments as things evolve.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

You Can Never Quit Writing

A true writer can never actually "quit" writing.

You may take a break, a hiatus, perhaps, that may last a week, or a month, or even a year--or longer.

At times, when you need a respite, you seem to know it. But you have no control over when you're ready to return to it.

Suddenly, the writing but bites and the blank page calls to you. Before you realize it, you've got a page done, then another and then another. Wow, you're really on a roll. Ten pages, maybe twenty before you stop and take a look.

You might take that break because you need to. I once took a 4-year-long break. But I missed it. Even though I was doing something I enjoyed, once I went back to the writing, I knew this is what I was meant to do. I feel more satisfaction in the act of writing than doing anything else.

So, if you need to take a break. Do it. Don't force the writing. Your writing muse will tell you that it's okay to pick up the pen, or sit at the computer again. You'll feel refreshed, excited again.

But you can never quit. Writing that is.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Journal Entry: November 28th 1999

I was scrounging through a list of publishers, trying to find any that seemed right for what I'm writing. I wish I knew if anything I've written is worth the effort. I wish I knew whether or not I'm just wasting my time. But then I'm reminded by what Dennis said to me,"Write for your own pleasure." I realize it does keep my mind busy.

what I need to do is (maybe?) quit taking it all so seriously. If I'm not having any fun with it, then, well, I'm only hurting myself more than anything. I really don't see myself publishing anything any time soon. Even this latest short story--who's gonna want it? I realize now that I can't write for a publication. I do write for myself. Maybe that's no so bad. It's just that I won't be successful. But how does one measure success? How much money one makes, or how happy one is with themselves? I can't keep beating myself over the head about any of this. I have too much to worry about as it is.

And as far as that's concerned, writing is my one and only escape. When I go into my room to write I'm in my own little world where no one can enter--except to interrupt me--but it's all mine. All mine! I'm probably never going to be published--not in the way I've dreamt of it. Maybe all the hype and glitz ain't worth it anyway. I don't know. I've never been very out-going, I'm shy, introverted and basically I don't enjoy being around people. People find ways of hurting you whether they mean to or not.

So, what am I saying? I'm as unsure of my writing talents now as I was twenty years ago. Maybe I've improved quite a lot since, but it's not making much difference.

author's note: Hard to believe but this was written about 11 years ago. How time flies.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

January 8th 2002

I'd read something I'd written in 1983. Wow. I was so despondent then. It was just before I'd published something in ByLIne & a poem. In Dec. of 1984 I said I'd "quit" writing. But by the following year I was back at it. My ideas flowing.

What I'd entered that day in '83 mirrors nearly what I'd written last summer (2001)

"Sometimes I feel as though I'm playing in a charade--that someday the bubble is going to bust and I'll find that my dream of becoming a successful writer will never be realized."

February of that year I had a poem and an article accepted (ByLIne). Then in June I sold another piece to ByLine--$20!. And I was writing the very 1st version of Vampire Legacy [1985].

To put things in perspective, I went back to school (NIU). In March of 1986 I met my husband, Dennis, fell in love, and never looked back--quit school too. What a bunch of B.S. I learn nothing in school. And at the university it's so filled with professors who have a big head about themselves.

Dennis and I sold our vehicles--him: his blue Mustang, Me: my Honda 200 mc. We went on an 8 week camping trip out west, got engaged, came back and worked at the bus company again.

Monday, May 10, 2010

On Dreams and Wishes

If a person dreams or makes a wish, but the dream or wish never comes to pass what happens to it?

Does it go into a holding place waiting for just the right alignment of the stars?

Or . . . does it go to someone else whose desire is more? Or has asked for it more?

Can a dream always be yours and no one else's?

Or . . . is it yours exclusively. No one else can have it, since you are the creator of that wish, dream, idea?

Everyone should have dreams.
Dreams, hopes, wishes, goals, desires. It's what life is made of. We shouldn't be afraid to dream for fear that the dream may never be realized. To not dream, or have hope is to become dead inside.

We all need something to build on, move toward, think upon during the day--especially at work (because the work you do is not what you really want to do. What you want to do is stay home and write!)

We need something to look forward to, grasp onto--even desperately by the gossamer hairs of that dream/hope/wish/desire. No matter how small or large--you as a writer need to keep on going at it. Find where your mistakes are. Correct them. Try a new editor. You might be surprised!

No matter how impossible it might seem to you, or others who know you; no matter how wild, impossible, or fantastic--Dream big!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Battle

In 1902, the poetry editor of the Atlantic Monthly rejected the works of a 28-year old poet.
Robert Frost persevered.

January 2003~From Journal

Things I've worked on this month:
"Things In Heaven" (short story) gets rewritten and new title: "Finder's Keepers"
Poems sent out to various places.
I'm plugging along on fantasy novel Spell of the Black Unicorn
Wrote and sent out essay to The Writer (this wasn't picked as winner)
Sent out another hint to Family circle
Sent short piece to Writer's Digest
A recipe sent to Midweek is eventually accepted

My mantra is to increase the success rate, you've got to increase the failure rate . . . in other words, send writing out, even if you feel you've got a glacier's chance in a live volcano, do it.

You have to develop an attitude. Or so I've read.

The attitude anyone needs in order to succeed is exactly the mother, the essence. If you lack it, you'll fail every time. It doesn't matter if you can brag that you re-write everything 30,40,50, or 100 times. It isn't only talent which makes a writer. It is not just hard work, either. It's a combination of that, and something even more important than those two things: devotion to your work; a belief in it.

This year I had a plan--to get so many things out there I can't remember it all, and increase my failure rate. I did win, all be it a small victory, but a victory just the same. Understanding that the odds are stacked against me, yet I did what I set out to do: GET PUBLISHED. My first poem was PUBLISHED! After so many rejections. It feels very satisfying, but I want to win more.

SNOWY NIGHT IN ILLINOIS
Drab gray streets turned white,
now shimmer.
Wind aloft rushes with
freight train might.
Cars slosh along up town,
while feathers from angel's wings
mound higher and higher.
Watching my foot-falls crunch and punch
through wet powder,
herringbone patterns follow behind me.
--published in Weeds Corner, Winter issue 2003 Vol. III, No.1

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Zen and the Art of Writing

A while back The book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, was rejected 121 times. The author, Robert M. Pirsing sold it to the 122nd publisher and it went on to sudden success.
Some people don't know when to quit, do they?
Pirsing believed in what he wrote and didn't let the rejections get to him, even after 100 of them!

I'm a struggling writer. I began writing when I was 16. Before that I was known as "the artist" I loved to draw. I would sit up nights into the wee hours drawing out my fantasies in cartoons. People said I should go on to become a cartoonist.
I didn't. I went on through high school, then to college, majoring in art. But by the time I hit college I think I loved writing more. I must have. Every page of writing that I had done while I lived in my father's house was collected after he died and it all filled 3 paper grocery sacks.

In 1983 I joined a writing critique class that was in another state. I may have learned things I could never have back then. But I came away despondent, depressed about my writing, confused as to which way to go. And so I quit writing. For a while.
I found that I could never really quit writing. When I quit writing I'll be dead. Plain and simple.

The longest I've ever gone away from writing was about 4 years, back in the '90's when I was working in a craft store and did crafts myself. I sold a lot of crafts, but I didn't do more than break even. You have to continuously keep replacing supplies, and trying to come up with unique ideas.
My husband missed my writing. So, I returned to it. I tried to sell a romance (Indian romances were big then), but my writing was still far from polished. I had a lot of problems, still.

There's a saying that goes something like "you can make the trip in the dark with your headlights on, but you can't see beyond them." It's like that with writing--the craft is a difficult one to master if you don't know what the hell you're doing. If you can't spell, that's when it's really tough. People would say "look it up in the dictionary" You can't look it up unless you know how it's spelled!
I'm dyslexic, and I can't say enough about how a person--even with mild cases--struggle to perform either in school, or even at a job, or even on a personal level. It took until I turned 40 to realize I was dyslexic.

This blog is dedicated to those of you out there who are struggling as writers.
I'm not here to teach you anything, but if you get something out of it, even if it is encouragement, or you read something here that you can relate to, good. This is for you.

I have countless rejections from the 1980's up through now. I've tried to approach book publishers--back when you could, and later agents. My rants and ravings about the way the publishing industry is set up is probably better seen at other blogs. I've never viewed it from the inside out. But let's face it. It has changed over the last 30-40 years. My mother-in-law was able to go before a book publisher in the 70's. and she didn't follow through when he told her he didn't like what she'd written for him (imagine a country woman going all the way to New York and has a chat with the editor about her book), and told her to give him something else. If I were in that position I'd go home and lock myself in a room and tell my husband "You'll have to start pitching in around here--I'm writing a novel!"

Well, the story goes, she didn't go for it. Her reasons are not clear. I think it was fear of everything. Maybe the fear of actually succeeding. I don't know. I may never know. It's just one of those things I never have gotten the same answer whenever I've asked, so I know it's something deeper than the normal things.

So, you're wondering "is she published?"

Yes. I am. I've been published in various places and I will, in time place them here. I've published poems and non-fiction pieces as well as fiction.

I've also self-published my own book. At age 50, I knew that there was no way I was going to get what I had worked on so painstakingly hard on for 4-5 years. It's a light fantasy. It's funny, it's full of zany characters, magic, sorceresses and sorcerers, a demon, and a nasty evil sorcerer. I'll have it on the side for anyone to check out.

There will be some other blogs about things I've already mentioned. I also plan on placing my memoir on my time at the writing critique in Dubuque. Names will have been changed. But that's a ways off. I've two other blogs to take care of.

Oh . . . and of course, I'm writing another novel. My vampire novel will, I hope become an e-book. I'm still waiting on word. But I've already got someone interested in hosting me on their blog, if and when it sells.

Well, time is getting late for me. So, until next time. Adieu.